Adoption update: the waiting continues

Back in June, after several weeks of turmoil over mixed feelings, Travis and I decided to keep trying to adopt a second baby. I still had serious reservations.  I wasn’t convinced it was the right decision, but I couldn’t bring myself to withdraw from the adoption process.

Now I constantly think about having a second child. Travis too. When I call him in the middle of the day, he half-jokingly asks if I’m calling to deliver adoption news. We both want that moment to arrive so badly.

Miles does a pretty good job of filling every inch of this rambling old house, but lately it’s just a bit too empty. I’m aware of an absence. When I’m in the kitchen cooking, I imagine Miles out in his playroom chattering away to a little brother and sister. When I return from dropping him off at school, I feel myself hoisting a tiny baby in her car seat back inside.

Even when I remember the darkest times with a young baby—crying into my pillow in the middle of the night because sleep deprivation prevented me from falling back asleep—I still want a second kid.

We’ve had no news. Not a single call or email. Impatient, we scan foster-to-adopt websites and research other private adoption agencies. So far, we’re sticking with our original agency.

I’ve refrained from needlessly “checking in” with our social worker. Last week, I happened to glance at the clock at 11:11, so I made a rather demanding wish that the agency call that very day with good news. I didn’t get the call but instead received a mass email from our social worker, publicizing an event to be held on 11/11/2011.

Coincidences, wishes, and imagination are what I have to work with. I tell myself to make the most of my quiet time these fall mornings, to remember the present. And yet be ready for a baby who could come into our lives any day now.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Adoption update: the waiting continues

  1. Pingback: Three: the magic number? | Regular Midwesterners

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s