We’re Gretchen and Josh. We both grew up in small towns in the Midwest.
We met while working for marriage equality and really got to know each other while sharing a tiny office on a campaign to stop an anti-gay ballot measure.
Along with our partners, we became close friends over long dinner parties, nights out, L Word and Project Runway viewing nights, and trips together.
Then we tried to have babies. After some obstacles, we now have kids. Gretchen (a pseudonym for legal reasons) and her partner conceived their two boys through the same, anonymous sperm donor. Josh and his partner had a baby through an open, domestic, transracial adoption; they’re trying to adopt again.
We still live in the Midwest.
“Regular” is from a dream.
One morning while sitting around a campfire, Gretchen’s partner, Jill, told us about a dream she’d had the night before. She found herself in a locker room and began to notice that other people were staring at her. As she went about her business, several people asked her if she was in the right place, meaning the right locker room.
Confused by the question and why they would ask such a thing, she responded, “I’m just regular.”
Back at the campfire, Josh sat up and said, “That’s it! That’s us. We’re regular.” Since then, we often refer to ourselves as “regular” because all four of us have felt the way Jill did in her dream, and it’s nice to have a word for it.